Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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