You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
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