jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
