Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I need a burrito and a hug.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
