Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
