maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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