can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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