ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
if only i could text you this smell
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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