that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
