You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
