if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
