the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
