Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
literally had 100 drinks last night.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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