If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Randomize
