did you get engaged???
i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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