I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
