My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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