K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I love having hate sex.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
