the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
