My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
