The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
