And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
