Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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