I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
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