Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
