Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
