just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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