Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
If I die, sorry about rent.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
