Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
