I'm gonna have a badass scar
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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