Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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