my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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