i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
