listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
