last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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