Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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