Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
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