I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
