I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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