So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
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