ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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