Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
