You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
