i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
