Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize