I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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