Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
