me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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