You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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