Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
