we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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