We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
