there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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