It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
