you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
