u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Randomize
