We're facebook friends in real life
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
